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Dear White Moms | An Open Letter From A Mom With Privilege

March 16, 2019

Dear White Moms,

We need to do better. If you’re reading this and already thinking you aren’t part of the problem, you probably ARE the problem, so stay with me.

This is uncomfortable. This isn’t feel-good Saturday reading material and it isn’t supposed to be. However, I’ve said before (and I’ll say again): What is an audience if you aren’t using it to speak your truth?

Well. As a mom with an audience… I’m calling on other white moms to do better. That’s my truth.

It’s not enough to assume our children will learn a fair and true account of history in a classroom. It’s not enough to to shut down racial conversations with colorblindness. It’s not enough to share a cute graphic with this week’s tragedy’s hashtag. It’s not enough to peacefully live in your privilege and turn a blind eye to the racism and xenophobia that is ever present in our society.

Making change isn’t simply avoiding violence. I’m not challenging you to NOT commit a hate crime. That’s too easy. It’s pretty easy for most of us to avoid buying a gun and shooting everyone in a house of worship. But, hear me: from Christchurch, NZ to Charleston, SC, violence was the PEAK of white supremacy.

The solution lies in the foundation. The solution lies in forcing yourself to face your biases and unpack them. It’s forcing yourself to read the data and NOT come up with excuses. It’s throwing yourself into continual self-education about the systematic oppression that’s being sustained every single day and not shying away from the hard feelings that come with that.

We have to be intentional in our action. We have to USE the privilege we didn’t earn. We have to age appropriately talk to our kids.

Today, Grayson and I talked about what happened in New Zealand. Then, we made a very small gesture to show the Muslim community in our town that they are loved and welcome here. I’m not sharing that for praise or recognition, I’m sharing it to show you that it starts with you, in your minivan or living room. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

No, not every white person is a white supremacist. But. We ARE the only ones who can dismantle it. I’m not claiming to be an expert or a teacher or a historian. I’m just a lady with a voice and I want to make a change.

We need to do better. We have to.

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” – Desmond Tutu

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