A “good enough” mom

A closeup of a mom and child hand-holding. The words "a good enough" mom is exactly the mom they need" on top of the photo.

Earlier this year my therapist blew my mind with the idea of “the good enough mother”.

The theory of “the good enough mother” was originally introduced by British pediatrician and psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott

Per Dr. Winnicott:

“a mother is neither good nor bad nor the product of illusion, but is a separate and independent entity: The good-enough mother … starts off with an almost complete adaptation to her infant’s needs, and as time proceeds she adapts less and less completely, gradually, according to the infant’s growing ability to deal with her failure. Her failure to adapt to every need of the child helps them adapt to external realities.”

Dr Winnicott believed through her findings that a good enough mother was better than the perfect mother.

*record scratch*

Say what?!

Yep. You don’t need to be perfect. You never did. And I’m not just saying that because it’s trending to be aUtHeNtIc.

Why AM I saying that?

Because real life isn’t perfect. The world isn’t perfect. Their future partner won’t be perfect. People in their lives and their jobs won’t be perfect.

Real life is full of disappointment, reroutes, and frustration. Striving for perfection isn’t doing anyone a single favor.

So when you feel like you’re dropping half the balls you think you should be able to juggle… just remember that you’re actually doing it exactly right.

Per science. 🤗

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